What is Fear?
I want to be completely honest with you today. Something has been bothering me for the last few months and I promised you when I returned to blogging last November I would always keep 100%. In the spirit of transparency, I wanted to share what’s been on my heart.
I haven’t seen my father in over 5 years and I haven’t talked to my sister in almost a year.
I go into schools, churches, boardrooms, and meetings everyday and I challenge people to go ALL IN on their dreams, passions, and goals in order to live the life they deserve. But yet two people, (One responsible for my existence, the other responsible for my confidence in my high school years) I was scared to call.
Which is why last week was one of the most amazing weeks of 2016 for me. I faced my fear and I spoke with my father and my sister. Below I will share why I was so afraid and the 3 steps I took that allowed me to break through that fear.
Month of Fears: For the month of April, all of the blog posts that are published on this blog will be revolving around fear. Myself and a few others will be sharing our stories as well as some of the things that helped us overcome our fear.
Note: I would love for YOU to engage and share your stories and how you dealt with fear at the end of each blog post in the comment section. Because with thousands of people that come to this site monthly your story or method could change someone’s life.
3 Truth’s Fear Taught Me
Realize your future is more important then your fear
Personal Story: Last year I lived with my sister. During a season of reflection, growth, and for lack of a better term- depression, I paid rent but was gone from the apartment I lived in with her for almost 6 months. During that time, I didn’t speak with her or anyone for that matter and avoided all interactions via email, text, phone. As I begin to get my life back on track I moved back in and lived there until the lease was up and we parted ways. Fast forward 7 months I looked on Facebook and I saw she was pregnant and due to give birth in a few months. My heart dropped. I was going to let the fear of one conversation rob me of being in her child’s life. One day I put it in my phone to call and before I could dial the number, she sent me a text asking to help her with a baby shower.
And although our relationship is not the same or anywhere near perfect, I know I will be apart of her daughter’s life.
Translation to your life: How bright would your future be if you faced the #1 fear on your list? DO me a favor. Write down one fear you are dealing with right now. Then write down why you are fearing it. Then under that write down something in the future that will NOT be accomplished if you don’t face that fear.
Don’t Overestimate the negative outcomes
My Story: When I called the first 2 minutes I was outrageously nervous and just begin rambling and before I could apologize she just said, “Happy to hear from you love, here’s the directions. See you soon love”. In my mind I was expecting
But in reality she was more like
The people that truly love you as long as you didn’t do anything too crazy will be there and receive you. Plus, a lot of people (friends, family, Co-workers, employees) got more important things to think about in their life than you (Hard Truth).
Translation to your life? Think about the the times in your life where you took action and addressed your fear head on. What was the result? If you are still here reading this blog then it couldn’t have been that bad? 9 times out of 10 we overestimate the fear and give it so much control when it turns out. It’s kind of like the amazing looking person on Instagram or Facebook or tinder that you meet in real life and are like what???? As my life coach Brandon Vick likes to ask me ; “What is the worst that can happen?” And does the best case scenario outweigh it.
Great Video for more in depth fear help -> Attacking Fear
Don’t ever forget where you came from
My Story: Let’s go back to my senior year of college.
I had my own company with over 100 active members, active in my fraternity, and interning for the mayor. Then one day I received a call from my dad that spring semester. Before that call, it had been a few years since we spoke so I was hype. He said he was proud of me and was coming to Raleigh to see me and introduce me to some people. I was excited, I was just about to start expanding join me into throwing concerts and I needed some investors. As I arrived to come meet him I knew something was wrong. I saw registration tables, flyers, and people from all walks of life entering into the hotel. As I found my dad I was ushered to fill out this form and listen to a presentation. You guessed it!
It was a multi level marketing conference for people selling Ubana gold. A NFL player was presenting and although I got a chance to meet him, I have never been so hurt in my life. I thought he wanted to see just me, but instead he used the opportunity to recruit me into his marketing scheme and use my leverage to get people to join. After that day I never called him again and we spoke twice. Although my father was wrong, I discounted him bringing me into this world, paying child support, and being there when he could because of my feelings. Regardless if how I feel, I wouldn’t be writing this blog if it wasn’t for him, and I don’t have the right to hold a grudge. I can’t waste too much energy I need to be putting towards my goals.
Translation to your life?
At the end of the day. Whatever fear you are dealing with right now, PLEASE understand in order to remove the fear you have to go the root cause. Once you get there it’s all on you to either forget, forgive, or live in it.
Question Only You Can Answer: Do you care enough about your life to face your fear?
Big Takeaway: It may take an hour, a day, a week, a month, or a year to finally face your fears. And honestly that’s ok. But don’t undervalue your self enough to allow fear to block you from living the life you deserve.
Your entire life depends on the fear’s you choose to handle and the fears you choose to keep- Unknown- Click to tweet
Question: What fear have you conquered and how did you do it?
(Answer below in the comments by clicking here)