A Conversation with My Father: 3 Truth’s Fear Taught Me

What is Fear?

 

I want to be completely honest with you today. Something has been bothering me for the last few months and I promised you when I returned to blogging last November I would always keep 100%. In the spirit of transparency, I wanted to share what’s been on my heart.

I haven’t seen my father in over 5 years and I haven’t talked to my sister in almost a year.

I go into schools, churches, boardrooms, and meetings everyday and I challenge people to go ALL IN on their dreams, passions, and goals in order to live the life they deserve. But yet two people, (One responsible for my existence, the other responsible for my confidence in my high school years) I was scared to call.

Which is why last week was one of the most amazing weeks of 2016 for me. I faced my fear and I spoke with my father and my sister.  Below I will share why I was so afraid and the 3 steps I took that allowed me to break through that fear.

Month of Fears: For the month of April, all of the blog posts that are published on this blog will be revolving around fear. Myself and a few others will be sharing our stories as well as some of the things that helped us overcome our fear.

Note: I would love for YOU to engage and share your stories and how you dealt with fear at the end of each blog post in the comment section. Because with thousands of people that come to this site monthly your story or method could change someone’s life.



3 Truth’s Fear Taught Me

  1. Realize your future is more important then your fear

Personal Story: Last year I lived with my sister. During a season of reflection, growth, and for lack of a better term- depression, I paid rent but was gone from the apartment I lived in with her for almost 6 months. During that time, I didn’t speak with her or anyone for that matter and avoided all interactions via email, text, phone. As I begin to get my life back on track I moved back in and lived there until the lease was up and we parted ways. Fast forward 7 months I looked on Facebook and I saw she was pregnant and due to give birth in a few months. My heart dropped. I was going to let the fear of one conversation rob me of being in her child’s life. One day I put it in my phone to call and before I could dial the number, she sent me a text asking to help her with a baby shower.

And although our relationship is not the same or anywhere near perfect, I know I will be apart of her daughter’s life.

Translation to your life: How bright would your future be if you faced the #1 fear on your list? DO me a favor. Write down one fear you are dealing with right now. Then write down why you are fearing it. Then under that write down something in the future that will NOT be accomplished if you don’t face that fear.

  1. Don’t Overestimate the negative outcomes

My Story: When I called the first 2 minutes I was outrageously nervous and just begin rambling and before I could apologize she just said, “Happy to hear from you love, here’s the directions. See you soon love”. In my mind I was expecting

Angry black woman

But in reality she was more like

VIBE_Vixen-Michelle-Obama

The people that truly love you as long as you didn’t do anything too crazy will be there and receive you. Plus, a lot of people (friends, family, Co-workers, employees) got more important things to think about in their life than you (Hard Truth).

Translation to your life? Think about the the times in your life where you took action and addressed your fear head on. What was the result? If you are still here reading this blog then it couldn’t have been that bad? 9 times out of 10 we overestimate the fear and give it so much control when it turns out. It’s kind of like the amazing looking person on Instagram or Facebook or tinder  that you meet in real life and are like what???? As my life coach Brandon Vick likes to ask me ; “What is the worst that can happen?” And does the best case scenario outweigh it.

Great Video for more in depth fear help -> Attacking Fear

  1. Don’t ever forget where you came from

My Story: Let’s go back to my senior year of college.

I had my own company with over 100 active members, active in my fraternity, and interning for the mayor. Then one day I received a call from my dad that spring semester.  Before that call, it had been a few years since we spoke so I was hype. He said he was proud of me and was coming to Raleigh to see me and introduce me to some people. I was excited, I was just about to start expanding join me into throwing concerts and I needed some investors. As I arrived to come meet him I knew something was wrong. I saw registration tables, flyers, and people from all walks of life entering into the hotel. As I found my dad I was ushered to fill out this form and listen to a presentation. You guessed it!

It was a multi level marketing conference for people selling Ubana gold. A NFL player was presenting and although I got a chance to meet him, I have never been so hurt in my life. I thought he wanted to see just me, but instead he used the opportunity to recruit me into his marketing scheme and use my leverage to get people to join. After that day I never called him again and we spoke twice. Although my father was wrong, I discounted him bringing me into this world, paying child support, and being there when he could because of my feelings. Regardless if how I feel, I wouldn’t be writing this blog if it wasn’t for him, and I don’t have the right to hold a grudge. I can’t waste too much energy I need to be putting towards my goals.

Translation to your life?

At the end of the day. Whatever fear you are dealing with right now, PLEASE understand in order to remove the fear you have to go the root cause. Once you get there it’s all on you to either forget, forgive, or live in it.

Question Only You Can Answer: Do you care enough about your life to face your fear?


Big Takeaway: It may take an hour, a day, a week, a month, or a year to finally face your fears. And honestly that’s ok. But don’t undervalue your self enough to allow fear to block you from living the life you deserve.

Your entire life depends on the fear’s you choose to handle and the fears you choose to keep- Unknown- Click to tweet

Question: What fear have you conquered and how did you do it?

(Answer below in the comments by clicking here)

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Kirtisha

    So real, authentic, and honest. Thank you for your transparency. I’ll be praying for you as you continue to face these fears head on. #NewLevels

  • Jasamine (TheFearHurdler.com)

    Thanks for sharing your story with us Greg. For myself it was the fear of what other people would say or think. I had to first be honest with myself that it was something that was holding me back and two ask myself what was more important “What they MIGHT say” or “My happiness.”…..I chose ME every time- Jasamine H.

  • Richard Goode

    Great article my brother , conquering my fear of “what could go wrong” has been something I have been dealing with recently. I recently decided to start journaling my thoughts and ideas down in order to get my fear and anxiety of failing in check. I also watch motivation videos in order to find my stories within the success stories of others.

  • Keisha

    My biggest fear would probably the fear of the unknown. I like to have plans down to the tee. I used to get really upset if I planned something and even one little thing was off I’d feel like a failure. Jumping heads first into anything is not what I do. So for me going all in and only applying to one school with no back up was pretty scary ,but I took the chance and by the grace of God I got in. Even now I don’t have everything figured out . I’m learning though to trust God and know everything will figure itself out . That is my motto 2016. It’s scary not always being in control but rewarding because I’ve been allowed to do things that previously May have never happened if I didn’t take that leap.

  • Malcolm Miller

    Glad that you could not only overcome some of your fears, but also still openly share that and encourage others to do so!

    One concern of mine is my public speaking ability. It’s not that I’m not good or confident, sometimes my nerves just get the better of me so I either avoid it or end up fumbling with words and thoughts and visibly showing my frustration. How I’m currently overcoming this is at the workshop I’m currently in for the week. Just pushing myself out of my comfort zone and working through whatever nerves I have. I am generally received well and the main takeaways I have taken so far is that several rehearsals are key, in addition to preparing your content. The more times you say it out loud the more comfortable you are when the time comes. And pauses/pacing is key for clarity and can also give you a moment to gather yourself instead of rushing out words. A brief pause in-between sentences can really help. While presenting, pauses seem like they take a lifetime but in reality are only a few seconds. This is how I’m on my way to mastering my communication skills!

  • vivian Johnson

    God bless you. You are an overcomer. .and God is doing a great work through you..I am Sooooo.bless Grateful for your persevering spirit. …we need that in our family and millions more. .you keep letting God use you..your forgiveness for your father. .bringing. more peace. .chains be broken lives be Healed Eyes be open CHRIST is revealed. .that is the heart of God. .is you
    .more than a conquer. ..i. .and just bless. …prayers for all that your journey. .takes you through. Fight the good fight. .stay HUMBLE. .God gives grace to the humble. ..pray..it out then walk it out…..glory. ..love. peace be still. .Minister vivian Love

  • Brittany

    Your transparency and courage to reflect within is inspiring. Thank you for highlighting how you’ve used your struggles as stepping stones and lessons learned.

    For me, one “fear” or struggle that I deal with is being out in front. I dont mind leadership or having major responsibilities. I dont want the blame should something go wrong on my watch. I dont like failing, but I have learned not to let the comfort of success or doing things I know I can do keep me from striving for my goals and pushing to reach my dreams. I never wanted to be a head coach. It made me uncomfortable because I didnt think I would be good enough. When the opportunity presented itself, I jumped at it and I actually have done very well and exceeded all expectations. I am determined to step out my comfort zone and not worry about whether failure will come from it. You cant be successful if you dont try and put your best foot forward.

  • Ornella Ruta

    Thanks for sharing Greg, thanks also for being so transparent and honest. Fear is definitely something that I’ve struggled with as well, especially this past year. I actually made a video on 5 things I do (constantly) to conquer my fears. Take a look!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTN9lSDK2EU

  • Kinta

    Wow… My fear is of organizing my personal life. I don’t know why, but I’m hesitant to follow thru with my own goals for myself and family. I stay busy as an integral organizer for the success of others, but I have difficulty doing the same for myself. This is a fear that this article is forcing me to deal with. Thank you!

  • Man Im glad I came across your last episode Podcast. I instantly connected with your realness listening to you share hope.

    So im not supprised by your honesty here.

    My insecurities and doubts I find to be at the root of my fears.

    With that awareness I ask God for the courage to walk through them.
    Some days are better than others but at least I don’t mask them with drugs and alcohol any more.

    I’ve learned to feel and deal.

    Thanks for the encouragement.
    Vernon