Diamonds or Cubic Zirconia: 3 lessons to know REAL dreams from the fake

I was living a dream believing things that just ain’t true
Oh I can’t believe I ever believed in you
You had me chasing fool’s gold
I was chasing fool’s gold
I was chasing fool’s gold” – Jill Scott

Before I dive into it I want to send a huge shout out to Greg for the opportunity to be a guest blogger on his site.  He is doing a lot of awesome things and inspire me to go after it on a daily.  If you rollin with him I already know that you are good folks!

My name is Jasamine Hill (yes my name has an extra A that is silent; and no me and Greg are not related, at least I don’t think but I’ll check out Ancestry.com).  I have a blog entitled www.TheFearHurdler.com , a site that encourages folks to overcome the obstacles that get in the way of their dreams.  Even though it seems as if I have it together now trust me I haven’t always been chasing after my dreams.

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When we were younger we had huge aspirations for our lives; to be the President of the United States, the next Oprah, or even the first woman to play in the NBA (or was that just me and Monica from Love and Basketball?).  But as we become older what once was life begins to seem as if it is too far out of our reach.  Instead of owning a television station or starting a business we settle for a job….any job…if it pays a couple dollars we lock it in (because Sallie Mae wants her coins).  No longer do we strive for what we LOVE but settle for an occupation that we barely like.

I was no different.

For the majority of my life I was an athlete but I knew that ball wouldn’t be life forever so I set out to work in the front office of a professional sports team.  On my journey I received an undergraduate degree from Johnson C. Smith and a Master’s from Wingate University.  I was well on my way to take over the sports world and THEN in about 15 years I would chase my dream to inspire others.

It just wasn’t the “right” time (can we please trash that phase…thanks in advance) and the want to be a life coach wasn’t reeeeeeally a cool thing to do.

Fresh out of graduate school the take-over was in effect as I accepted an offer to work in a training program for a front office of a professional sports team.  From the outside other people would see me as a successful person but on the inside

I was miserable.

I tried to mask it the best that I could but the 25 pound weight gain was hard to hide.  I had to give myself a pep talk to get out of bed to even go to work every day.  I couldn’t take it any longer I had to go; with no plans lined up I knew that I had to take a jump of faith in hope that everything would work out for my good.  So when the discussion of promotion began to take place I opened the door and they gave me the extra push out the door.

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So there I was for 3 ½ months………unemployed and broke.

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At times we believe that after taking the leap of faith that the struggle ends right there but there my friend I have saw that there is where the lesson is really taught.  Those were THEE longest 3 ½ months EVER.  The only place I found any motivation or hope was in church.  At that time I learned that God had to break me down in order to build me back up; and ever since me and Big G has been tight (I had been in church my whole life but I really started to LIVE the word).

Since my family isn’t ballin and there was nothing but lent in my pockets the word of the day became J-O-B .

I just needed a job that payed so I ended up in Corporate America.  While there I was still low key looking to get back into sports but when I asked myself the question……

 Why do you want to work in the sports field?

Crickets…….

Crickets…….

Crickets……..

The only reason I could come up with was that I had two degrees in it.  Instead of the real thing I had been chasing a dream that would please everyone else but Jasamine.  So off I went on this quest for fulfillment (even thought I already knew the answer…. smh).

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A couple months into my new gig I began to become very bored.  It was the same thing day in and day out and I could not for the life of me figure out how people could stay in their positions for 25 years plus.  But as soon as I began to have general conversation with my older co-workers I felt like I was talking to my 20 something year old friends.

girl I wish I could work in real estate.”

“you know what I really want to do is have my own insurance business.”

No matter whom the person was or the age the one element that kept them from what they really wanted was FEAR.

What will people say….

The feeling of not being good enough….

I don’t have time……

No money to start……

I may fail….

In my cube that day everything seemed to CLICK.  I was no longer going to allow FEAR to dictate my life but I was in control of my destiny! (because you know that we are infamous for blaming everybody else for our circumstances).


On your journey there are three important lessons to stop chasing the fake and become acquainted with the real to achieve your dream.

  1. Be Honest

If a person with a drug addiction never admits their problem, guess what they will still continue to be a druggie.   Many times we roam aimlessly throughout various jobs and relationships because we are not honest with ourselves what we REALLY want.  So instead of admitting the real deal we try to find voids (sorry to break it to you but voids do not work..got it get it….GOOD).

  1. GET NAKED

No not taking off your clothes naked……please put it back on (little nasty).  We have to strip down the fears that are in the way of what we want (what we were honest about).  Yes, we all know that “you don’t have any money to get the certificate” or “don’t have time for a relationship.” But what is it really because you can always save a couple dollars here and there (you really don’t need ANOTHER pair of Jordans or the 32 inch Malaysian wet and wavy) And you can always shift time around in your day to create an extra hour on the phone (if Jay Z has enough time for Beyoncé what’s your deal….i’ll wait).  But really get to the nitty gritty don’t come in here with no fluffy stuff because fluffy stuff just produces fluffy results.  Continue to ask yourself WHY until you get to the root of the fear.

  1. Step by Step

Before we start go ahead and wipe it out of your brain that things will happen overnight

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Now that you know have been honest with yourself and have gotten to the root of what’s in the way we must now get to business.  Create actionable steps that will allow you to be closer to it.  In the words of Greg “Be .1% better today than you were yesterday.”  It is all about progression taking a step is better than chillin’ at the crib doing nothing (and it’s WAY better than doing nothing AND complain) 


Final Takeaway

In our generation we have made a habit out of settling for less and then complain about where we are at.  Let’s throw mediocre out the window because God has set us up to be GREAT but it is up to US to walk into it.

Tough Question : What are you doing today that you don’t need to be doing?

(Answer below in the comments by clicking here)

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.